Now you tell me you love me, that’s why I’m scared!” ~ Anonymous “High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.” ~ Christopher Morley.“By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” ~ Charles Wadsworth.It is already tomorrow in Australia.” ~ Charles M. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today.“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” ~ Charles Lamb.“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.” ~ H.L.“My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.”~ Walter Matthau.“He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.” ~ Charles de Gaulle.“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” ~ Abraham Lincoln.“If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.” ~ Billy Wilde.“Most people would sooner die than think in fact, they do so.” ~ Bertrand Russell.“Life is hard it’s harder if you’re stupid.” ~ John WayneĪlso Read: Sarcastic Quotes Funny Inspirational Quotes.“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~ Bernard Baruch.“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?” ~ Benny Hill.“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” ~ Benjamin Franklin.“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant.I didn’t want to interrupt her.” ~ Rodney Dangerfield “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years.“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.” ~ W.C.There is no cure for curiosity.” ~ Dorothy Parker “ Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’” ~ Anonymous.The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.” ~ Ann Landers “At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t.“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.” ~ Casey Stengel.“My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” ~ Caroline Rhea. Women marry men with the hope they will change. “Men marry women with the hope they will never change.“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”~ Eleanor Roosevelt.“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” ~ Abraham Lincoln.This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”~ Alan Dundes “People kept saying ‘Go Corona’ and it went to other countries to spread across the globe.” ~ Invajy.
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